Bottle Conditioned

More Neo-Prohibitionist asshattery today - “Teen smokers 5 times more likely to drink”.  Sigh, here we go again.

I’m tired of these alarmist reports from the New Dry camp.  So, people who smoke are more likely to drink.  Wow, big find.  Even more important tho - big deal.

From the report:

Teenagers who smoke are five times more likely to drink and 13 times more likely to use marijuana than those who are not smokers, according to a report issued on Tuesday.

Ok…and?  First off, the fact that they even brought up marijuana really makes me laugh.   You mean, smokers are more likely to smoke?!  No freakin’ way!  Come on…

There are several things at work here in this article that are interesting.  First is that fact that this shouldn’t be a giant surprise, nor does it really mean anything.  Think about it.  People who smoke are generally speaking individuals who, for whatever reason, choose a (legal) drug to provide them some degree of mental and physiological impact, whether positive or negative.  Many people smoke to relax, or at least, the chemical nature of cigarettes and the quench of the addiction provide them that relaxation.  Either way, we’re looking at a chiefly mental effect, with some underlying physiological components that acheive this affect.

Guess what?  Alcohol does the same thing.  So, doesn’t it stand to reason that individuals who enjoy the mental state issued through cigarettes would also enjoy the same mental effect of alcohol?  I’m not saying that it’s not true that smokers are 5 times more likely to drink (although I have my doubts on the way they collected that number), what I’m simply saying is this:  so what?

So smokers like to drink.  Ok.  Saying this like it’s a big deal is like saying that people who drive cars are 5 times more likely to become motorcycle riders, another thing that (they would assert) is dangerous to your health.  The comparison sucks, and it doesn’t provide us with any type of useful information whatsoever.

The second thing at work here is the ever persistent “teen” angle.  Note, the article is titled “Teen smokers 5 times more like to drink” (emphasis added).  So, adult smokers are less likely to?  More likely?  What is interesting, is that this article isn’t about smoking at all - it’s about underage drinking.  This coming during a time when conversation has actually started in this country revolving around the 18 LDA.  Coincidence?  I think not.  These people are attempting to be sly by covering up their agenda (kill drinking) by framing the article around another ‘vice’, smoking. 

What is simply the most aggravating part about this is the fact that the information doesn’t mean anything.  Zip.  Nada.  None.  All this serves to do (and one would argue, appropriately, that this was the point) is to rouse up angst and distrust against alcohol, framing it as a substance that takes advantage of our youth.  If you smoke, they say, then evil alcohol will most likely get its grip on you. 

How about this?  It’s not alcohol that’s the problem - it’s the people involved.

Whoa there Justin, don’t bring up personal responsibility, that’s so un-PC of you. 

Well, frankly, I’m sick of it.  I’m sick of articles and news reports coming out villainizing alcohol because some group of teens can’t keep their damn hands off the bottle.  Not to mention the fact that those same teens’ parents can’t seem to cope and deal with their kids like they should.  Heaven forbid we exercise some degree of control over our kids. 

I know this has now turned into a rant.  Sorry.  That happens.  Here’s the deal tho.  These type of articles are nothing more than New Dry propaganda aimed at trying to stomp out an industry that has been fighting an uphill battle since the late 1800s.  The findings in this article don’t mean anything for anybody, except as a tactic aimed at scaring people into distrusting alcohol. 

Folks, a bottle doesn’t have hands.  It doesn’t reach out, grab you and force you to drink.  When are the people in our society going to start to realize that there is a major personal responsibility crisis in this country?  I understand that some people do have addiction problems that make it much more difficult to cope with substances like tobacco and alcohol.  I’m not denying that.  What I’m saying is this:  stop blaming the bullet, and start blaming the person who pulled the trigger.  Until we accept the fact that we are in control of our lives, not some inanimate substance, we’re in for a long uphill battle.

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